On my last day of radiation, I distinctly remember walking out of the radiation center feeling very jubilant and hopeful. Not only were my sessions done and over with but the nurse’s reassurance that each week thereafter will make me feel even better and stronger.
Soon afterwards, I noticed that I started having difficulty swallowing where my esophagus met the stomach. I felt pain with each time I swallowed any solid food or gulped a drink. Liquids, however, were more tolerable as long as I sipped it slowly. My strength deteriorated and fatigue worsened further, and developed tachycardia soon afterwards (and lasted till April/May, my radiation concluded in February). I was out of breath and couldn’t even climb 11 steps to second floor to get to my bedroom without gasping for breath! My face swelled up and the irradiated areas in the back (along the spine and in the front) changed color and became black and blue(and later in the stomach as well). Other things that developed and I am still feeling with in May is skin dryness, excessive flakiness, skin peeling, swelling of feet, etc.
I continued on Manjistha (to help cleanse the blood and lipids) and Ashwagandha (for strength and — stress), along with good nutrition (stews and soup with a lot of green vegetables) and stayed away from raw food/vegetables which Ayurveda says is hard for the stomach to digest. Wore loose soft fabrics. Drank mostly warm water for deep cells absorption and later added coconut water. Also in April returned to pilates!
It was a beautiful day to celebrate and honor my mother. Another highlight was getting to do so with Aunty Grewal as well. Both are such amazing women and I feel blessed.
Neurosurgery visit was really reassuring. My neurosurgeon went over my imaging studies, the state of the spine and the spinal cord, and options available in case surgery was indicated (now or in future). He also conducted neurological and tendon reflex tests, and although my reflexes were below normal (hypo-reflexic), my surgeon was satisfied. He asked me to return in January 2019 to assess progress and/or the need for surgery and also ordered additional x-rays to be completed in a months time. I also got clearance from him regarding an exercise regimen in order to gain strength- he okayed walking for 10-minutes and slowly building it up. I was also able to negotiate Pilates as long as it was low-impact! I am so very HAPPY!
Bone biopsy results are in….drum roll please! It confirms that my cancer of the spine is ‘Breast Cancer’ indeed, and it substantiates for my oncologist that my cancer is growing in response to estrogen and not progesterone (ER +positive PR-negative).
My oncologist is going to start me on oral chemo by prescribing me Letrozole (Brand name Femara), and based on my tolerance, he may continue, change and/or add to it! Let’s see how I tolerate it’s potential side effects of hot flashes, hair loss, joint/bone/muscle pain, tiredness, usual sweating, nausea, diarrhea, dizziness, trouble sleeping, etc.
Tomorrow, I see the neurosurgeon to assess the stability of my spinal cord and possible next steps. Wish me luck!
Waheguru Simran (click to listen)
I find the vibration of ‘Waheguru Simran’ (an ‘anhad naad’ vibration) allows my mind and body to go into an emptiness trance (or ‘sunn-samadhi’, which helps still the body and mind so that the senses can be controlled from drifting). If you are anything like me, it is during my meditation that my mind wanders, remember things or chores, my dream or fears, etc., and never stills! For these reasons, meditating by reciting ‘Waheguru‘ over and over again allows the mind to reach a state of a state of peace, self-realization and transcendence, where the soul becomes totally absorbed on to the Divine and eventually merges with the Infinite Consciousness!
Babaji Guru Nanak Ji, Sikh’s first guru, gave the ‘Waheguru’ jaap, so that thru surrender, we can grasp and contemplate God consciousness with wonder and reverence! In 2nd Pauri in ‘Japji Sahib’, he tell ‘those who meditate on God’s name, get embued/ permeated with the name of the lord on their minds. They alone serve the God, upon who’s forehead such pre-ordained destiny is written! They continually sing the glorious praises of the lord, and singing glories of the glorious god they get uplifted.’
The link above is a beautiful ‘Waheguru Simran’ rendition by Nirinjan Kaur. Hearing her bring us this divine meditation and vibration in her open, beautiful and effortless ‘naad’ voice is truly a blessing. Thank you Bhenji Nirinjan Kaur!
Having established a solid mind-body-soul mindset, along with Ayurvedic help, I was ready to commence my treatment. Instead of taking anti-nausea medication, I planned to buffer my stomach with fruit. So I started by taking fresh pineapple about 30-40 mins prior to my radiation treatments and banana right afterwards.
This approach worked till round 8 of radiation, but round 9 and 10 were especially tough! Not only was I tired and had general malaise, my food pipe hurt when food or liquid went down especially at the hiatal valve/ stomach pit area,, my face swelled up and my body felt weak. Yogi Cameron suggested increasing the ‘Manjistha’ (blood and lymph cleanser) along with incorporating daily self oil-massages (Abhyanga) using ‘Bala’ or ‘Mahanarayan’ oils, to support the lymph system.
Verdict – Increasing Manjistha along with Abhyanga helped tremendously. I was also pleased that the body (although a little backed up) worked optimally!
Invoking creativity, visualization, relaxation, balancing emotions and spiritual practices thru painting and visual imagery. Who knew I could paint…Lol. Masterpieces indeed!